“Let the car warm up first, Mom,” he said, with that quiet authority teenagers sometimes have when they find themselves explaining something to their parents. Apparently, those first few seconds matter for the health of the car.
So we sat there together . . . and waited for the car to warm up.
I noticed how rare the moment felt. For years, my son was always in the car with me, little legs kicking the back of the seat, conversations filling the space between errands, school, and practices. Now he drives himself most places. His world is widening, just as it should.
So this unexpected, yet ordinary moment in the car together, felt to me, like a small gift.
As my son explained oil lubrication and engines, my attention began to drift. I heard his voice and I was grateful that we were sitting side by side, if only briefly, before the day quickly carried us in different directions. Without planning to, I quietly wished him well. That he would have a good day. That he would be healthy and that he would be happy not just today, but on more days to come.
This is the essence of metta meditation, or loving-kindness practice: a quiet offering of compassion and goodwill toward someone.
What struck me in that moment was how natural it felt, and how simple. Metta doesn’t require perfect conditions or long stretches of silence. It can slip into the small pauses that are already part of the day, waiting for water to boil, standing in line, sitting in traffic at a red light, or waiting for the car engine to warm up.
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be at ease in the world.
Now, I try to remember to let the car warm up before driving, not just for the engine, but for the moment it offers. Before my hands reach the steering wheel, I let them rest quietly, on my thighs or over my heart, and soften my gaze or close my eyes just a bit. Whoever happens to be on my mind, or sitting right beside me becomes the focus of a brief, silent wish for their well-being.
Thirty seconds is not very long. Turns out, it is just enough time for a car engine to warm up. And it is just enough time to pause and offer a measure of loving-kindness, quietly, imperfectly, and in our own way.